I am preparing to leave behind a family property that has been a place of wonder and magic but also a place of horror and distress. Today was about the hoarders of my genetic and familial past. Ugh. Yuck!
I literally do not know what kind of disgusting shit makes up the moldy madness on the items left in a barn for 20 years but I do know it’s making me weepy and sneezy; it’s also making me glad to let go of, well, everything that has no purpose. I never want anyone who has loved me to have to pick through my dusty shit, not ever. If I die tomorrow I want everything I own to either be worth keeping, worth selling or art materials easily recycled.
The saddest part about this whole endeavor has been seeing how it brings out the true colors in those involved. Thankful doesn’t being to describe the feeling I have about finally being free of these people… forever. I’ve always been equipped with a proverbial rolling door that drops shut on people who go too far; it’s a thick, it’s clear and it’s sound proof an invisible wall that keeps me safe from ass holes. This year it’s roll has gotten faster and faster and faster and the chances that the door will ever go up again are less and less and less.
Cleaning out the trash, that’s what this blog is all about. I will no longer put power or energy to inanimate objects and I will no longer give someone access to my life just because they are an old friend or even family. In order to be in my life you must have value(s), be purposeful and have a beautiful core.
I am already lighter.