Jumpy castles in the sky

At some point you just gotta do that painful, heart wrenching thing. You gotta spill the truth, cut the ties, admit defeat, throw in the towel and move on.

There is a big difference between giving up and letting go. It’s easier with a plan, a script, practice and a strong crew of peeps. I am almost there- almost ready to make the final leap. Just a little more preparation and I’ll be ready to go. New beginnings; doing things differently from now on.

I made a checklist. This is a rotation list, a mantra, a reminder and my goals.

1. Write a letter to all the people you’re gonna quit giving shit to (emotionally, physically and professionally!)-check

2. Create a retreat where you can create the life you want- foundations in place.

3. Trust the universe and make art- getting closer!

4. Surround yourself with people who only have your best interests in their hearts- CHECK!

5. Stop doing the same fucking shit over and over… Almost there.

6. Send the letters out and quit doing that shit- yep, this will happen 12/13/14. That’s the date I’ve chosen.

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Side note to today

I am so grateful for my healthy life changes! This stressful week really tried to kick my a$$ and reflecting in how I WOULD have dealt with all of this vs. how I’ve dealt with it this week has made me proud. I realize I’ll always need to continue to work and learn but perhaps on different things than I thought I did. I’m not going to beat myself up and spread myself thin for anyone or any thing.

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Fuck this week, so far.

It been a rough and wonderful week. Learning things I didn’t want to know but have to know, watching my kids succeed, making art, struggling, building, spending a small fortune on my kids faces, stressing about debt that comes from said small fortune spending, telling the same people no again and again, accepting that you can’t expect things from people, explaining that you can’t help people who don’t want to be helped, and realizing that I am STILL not doing what I’m suppose to be doing.

Stress is trying to hound me. Work is making me miserable. I don’t owe anyone an explanation for these rants. There is no like button here. I don’t need to exclude anyone from this post.

Fuck all of you whiney, greedy, selfish assholes in my life. I am no longer available for you. I will no longer gift you services and advice. Make a note of it.

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