I Razzle. I Dazzle.

I woke up this morning and decided I am healed. I decided that I wasn’t going to look back at anything anymore. I am not going to should on myself ever again! It’s time. I am happily looking for new adventures, new collaborators, new friends and new Werk to keep me fresh, alive and BUSY!!! This is what creating a world worth living in looks like!!!! Today IS a new day! 

Whatcha got people? 

Tell me what you are building, making, doing, creating?!?!? I thrive on your ideas and adventures!  

 

The Gift of Thumbs

I just want to say… This.
 S K A T E I S T A N!!!
This is the kind of thing we SHOULD be doing in the world. Creating solutions outside of the box!!!

Our human gifts are many; thumbs, standing up on two feet, accessorizing, harmonizing, tears, and even our ability to contemplate. ALL GIFTS!!!

We waste these gifts with all the, “grabbing the most, stealing others liberty, judging hearts and consuming, well, everything in sight!”

We need to CREATE! We need to be creative, supportive and contemplative. We need to do all of this with love and intention. We need to glean the positive and uplifting parts of all of our morals, our ethics and our vast array of religions and simply BE BETTER. That’s all. It is NOT a contest. I repeat: NOT. CONTEST.

We don’t need to be great “again” we need to always be working to get better. We will never reach great because that would be the end, do we want an end?? No. Our only purpose is practice. Our only goal is innovation. Our only salvation is love. 

These kids get it because they’ve seen things. Instead of waiting until you’ve seen things- just take a lesson from them and start working together to MAKE. 

Practice, innovate, love. 

We don’t really want to go back. Nostalgia is a weakness. We want to go forward, differently. We want to build a world full of empowered, healthy, kind humans who skate, rock, start, think, lift, move, reach, dance, laugh, sustain, clean, save and care. 

It’s easier than we think and it starts with you.

What would organization would YOU create to improve your local community? 

Let’s spend more time thinking about helping and less time thinking about what we’re owed! 

http://skateistan.org/blog/oliver-speaks-tedxsydney

Kicking My Self

This, “living the dream shit”, is fucking hard.  I’m super emo and I just want to complain about every, single thing. I want to cry and overeat. I want to give up and burn it all down. But, I can’t. Being an artist is a compulsion like no other. 

I will keep going even if this crap is never good enough for anyone to purchase or admire it. 

  

Notches

Today marks one year since I started using dôTerra oils regularly, and six months since I’ve had a drink, and four months of cutting out grains, sugar, potatoes and legumes from my diet. I’m back to my 18 yr old weight and size, my skin glows, my tummy feels amazing, I have (so far) survived the rough cold and flu season without a sniffle and I feel wonderful. Mentally and emotionally I also feel great. This is saying a lot. Today is proving to be a challenging day yet I am positive and trusting the universe rather than losing my patience. Thoughts become things. I am choosing to think about what I am grateful for rather than what I cannot control or change.

I will never, ever go back to allowing toxins into my body and I am so grateful for the path that has led me here.

Jumpy castles in the sky

At some point you just gotta do that painful, heart wrenching thing. You gotta spill the truth, cut the ties, admit defeat, throw in the towel and move on.

There is a big difference between giving up and letting go. It’s easier with a plan, a script, practice and a strong crew of peeps. I am almost there- almost ready to make the final leap. Just a little more preparation and I’ll be ready to go. New beginnings; doing things differently from now on.

I made a checklist. This is a rotation list, a mantra, a reminder and my goals.

1. Write a letter to all the people you’re gonna quit giving shit to (emotionally, physically and professionally!)-check

2. Create a retreat where you can create the life you want- foundations in place.

3. Trust the universe and make art- getting closer!

4. Surround yourself with people who only have your best interests in their hearts- CHECK!

5. Stop doing the same fucking shit over and over… Almost there.

6. Send the letters out and quit doing that shit- yep, this will happen 12/13/14. That’s the date I’ve chosen.

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Side note to today

I am so grateful for my healthy life changes! This stressful week really tried to kick my a$$ and reflecting in how I WOULD have dealt with all of this vs. how I’ve dealt with it this week has made me proud. I realize I’ll always need to continue to work and learn but perhaps on different things than I thought I did. I’m not going to beat myself up and spread myself thin for anyone or any thing.

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Fuck this week, so far.

It been a rough and wonderful week. Learning things I didn’t want to know but have to know, watching my kids succeed, making art, struggling, building, spending a small fortune on my kids faces, stressing about debt that comes from said small fortune spending, telling the same people no again and again, accepting that you can’t expect things from people, explaining that you can’t help people who don’t want to be helped, and realizing that I am STILL not doing what I’m suppose to be doing.

Stress is trying to hound me. Work is making me miserable. I don’t owe anyone an explanation for these rants. There is no like button here. I don’t need to exclude anyone from this post.

Fuck all of you whiney, greedy, selfish assholes in my life. I am no longer available for you. I will no longer gift you services and advice. Make a note of it.

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Reread

I tried to reread these but they made me too angry. I will stop myself from deleting them, but I will also apologize that they read like a weepy journal; oh, woo has me. Barf!

I just want to make art, break shit, build shit and add glitter. I just want to create programs and help people step into the magical light that is art making… But I also want to get paid and that, THAT, is not possible in this world.

You gotta give it away now.

Stretch Everyday

It’s very difficult to write everyday.

Not the actual act of writing, that’s easy, the time to write always escapes me. I’ve been thinking about how life seems to always be out of my control. Just how much of that is caused by my actions (or inactions?) Have I become the type of person who just let’s things happen to  me? Am I a perpetual victim?

My life has been a serious mess for the last four years. So many things have been out of my control but many have also been me avoiding conflict and miscommunicating my feelings. I have never been the kind of person to say no to someone in need. I am very helpful and I get shit done; next thing I know I am doing everything for people who are broken and never able to show up for their end of the deal.

This keeps me from making art, being creative and managing my life well. It always has. But this is not their fault- it’s mine. I don’t stop them, I don’t fight them. I keep giving and accepting until I have nothing left to give.

But. No longer.

I’ve learned so much about perspective, patience and persistence. I’ve also learned that I am always in control of what happens to my mind, my feelings and my reactions.

I am no longer a victim. I am no longer attempting to be a saint. I am just an artist. I am only one human doing my best to have clean sheets and a little money in the bank.

I have written each day. All of theses writings are on paper scraps and bar napkins. Those come with doodles- a bit better of a medium for me. I must post more photos- ah ha! I’ve solved my own problem.